I Love You, Will You Ever Know?
by couldntstandbeinnormal
Summary: Silent tears run down my face as I think of what is going to happen soon. Why! Why couldn't you find him L? Why couldn't you see that he was inside of me this whole time? Why couldn't I tell him? How did this end up happening? -Light should I add more?


**A.N. It's cool if you don't want to read this A.N. I know that I sometimes don't bother to read them..... Does that make me a bad person.......?**

**Oh well, so without further ado, I present my very first story on Fanfiction EVER!!!!! So Drop me a review or a PM, Thanks for clicking on my story =) **

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Death Note and/or any of the characters; I could never be that creative. =P **

**PS I made the poem up myself =)**

**-Raven Yinx-**

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To L,  
Eyes, black as a new moon night.  
Hair, that can't be kept, try as I might.  
A name that He shall never know,  
Oh do you know how I love you so?  
You chase after Him, as I chase my Doom,  
but only I know that we're in the same room.  
Will you find Him just in time?  
Or is this just a stupid...poem?  
-Light Yagami

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Silent tears run down my face as I think of what is going to happen soon. Why?!?! Why couldn't you find him L? Why couldn't you see that he was inside of me this whole time?! Why couldn't I tell him? How did this end up happening!

Questions that have haunted me all this time. At first Kira was just supposed to be someone who puts fear into other people's minds. The super hero that saves the day. But then he became a monster, confusing himself as a God. I am no longer in control of anything; my body, my life, anything. The only thing I know is that there are two souls in this body and He over powers me. I'm just not strong enough anymore.

Tonight's the night, I can feel it. He's going to kill him; the one I love, the only reason I live. I just wish I could stop Him. But every time I try, He stops me form stopping Him and turns the whole thing around. Twisting and turning things so that even I couldn't tell what the truth was and what the lie was.

What am I going to do?! I could kill myself, but He would know immediately and stop me again. I've tried countless times to compromise but it never worked. Kira is dead set on killing L.  
~Ding Ding Ding~ the clock chimes midnight.

I close my eyes and look over at my love, this is the last time. The last time I'll see his blank face, the last time I'll watch him eat strawberry cheesecake; his favorite, the last time I'll hear his apathetic voice.

"ALL DATA DELETED" is flashing on the computer screen, in big red bold letters.

"Ryuzaki what's going on?!" Matsuda yells.

"I told Watari to delete any and all information if anything was to happen to him or me" responds L in his beautiful, apathetic voice.

L's eyes widen in understanding, "Everyone the shinigami...!"

~clank~ the spoon L is holding drops to the floor. He suddenly falls off of his chair; I catch him just before he hits the floor.

NO!!! Not now!!! Not in my arms!!! He can't die now!

"Ryuzaki?!" Kira yells at him, "NO!"

I fell Kira glare and smirk evilly at him. L finally understands; he knows what is happening. I can see it in his eyes for a split second. Inside I am weeping, L! L I'm so sorry!

I sit there in horror and watch, unable to move an inch, while he slowly closes his eyes.

Kira needed everyone to leave. They couldn't hear what He was about to say.

"The shinigami! Everybody go look for the shinigami!!" He screamed at everyone, as if He was the one that was in pain. They instantly left us with L's body.

"I've won L. Finally after all this chasing and all these games, I've won. So much planning went into you. You disappoint me. I thought that you were better than this, but I just not even the _wonderful_, or_ daring_ L could fight God." He said to the empty shell of my loves body, laughing and ginning like a madman. I guess he was a madman, if you could call him a man at all.

"Oh shut up Light, you couldn't have stopped this. You knew I was going to kill him eventually, I mean really. Did you think that I should say 'Oh my host's body is in love with this one, I should let them be free to be happy.'? Of course not, he is our enemy and you should be well to remember that." He said to me.

I couldn't respond. This was the worst thing to ever happen; I did not know this pain. Losing someone was not something that had ever happened to me. It hurt, very much, it's almost too much to bare. Why? Well I guess I know why, because I picked up the Death Note.

"Have you figured it out yet, Light?" Kira said mockingly to me. "Have you found out why I am here? You see, my soul is in that Death Note, and anyone who picks it up and uses it for the first time, integrates my soul into there body. Since you used it that one time, because you thought it was a fake, I went into your body." He chuckled evilly. "And at that time I had just enough control over your body so that I could take over and write more names in the Death Note. Every name that was written in my Death Note made me more in control of this body. So I never stopped, as God I could not let the people of this world suffer and the ones that had done wrong not go unpunished. So I killed them; the criminals that is." Kira said.

Kira finally let me have control over my body and left me to my anguish. I cried and sobbed until I thought I couldn't cry anymore. Over and over I whispered of my love to L, of how I was so sorry that I couldn't stop Him in time. I just wish that I could have told L that I loved him, that I still love him even. Just for one moment, to tell him how much he truly means to me even if he rejected me.

When I finally collected myself I went over to where I knew Rem would be. Traitorous bitch, I can't believe that she thought that if she sacrificed herself that she would 'save' Misa or make her 'happy'.

What will I do now? Where will I go? What will I do? Nothing, I can do nothing at all. For the first time in all my life I could not think, not feel, not....care even. Right now nothing matters to me. Except that the one person I would ever and could ever love is now dead and that there is absolutely nothing I can do. I went back to the room with L in it and just stared at him. Brushed back his hair, held his hand, as if he was still there, as if there was a chance that he was still alive. But I was just fooling myself. I was just holding onto the idea that this is him, he still here!!!

But the only one I'm trying to fool is me, and it's not working very well.

"Light, son, you have to let go now, I know that L was your friend but he's dead, there's nothing you can do." My father said to me. But I didn't care, I couldn't. What did it matter to me what he thought was good for me? It didn't, nothing mattered now, at all. When he saw that he wasn't getting to me, he just left me alone. Alone, that's all I am now, everything is just...nothing. Well except Kira now, he's the only one that is here. But it was surely not for me. No he's just here for himself.

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**Should I do another chapter or should I just leave it as is?**


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